“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Beginning a journey to self-love will be the most important journey in your life. Loving yourself, learning that you are worthy, and accepting yourself will affect every other aspect of your life.
Loving yourself is a lot like loving a partner. It’s not a one-time event. It requires constant commitment to yourself, consciousness of your thoughts, and a moment-by-moment surrender to seeing your own light, being in your own power, and embracing your shadow side with love and acceptance.
So, how can we do this? Just like we have rituals to show our significant others that we care about them, I believe it’s just as important to create rituals of self-love for ourselves. When you show actions of love toward yourself, you will soon change your thoughts. Here are my recommended rituals that will bring you closer to showing love for yourself each day.
8 Self-Love Rituals To Change Your Life
1. Start Each Day By Loving You
What do you do when you first wake up? Do you rush to get online and check to see what everyone else is doing? Do you immediately start attending to everyone else’s needs? What if you chose to start tomorrow morning differently? Take 5 minutes to visualize yourself breathing in love for yourself. Breathe out any feelings of unworthiness. Surround yourself in sparkling light and smile at the being of light that you are. If you want to go deeper, spend 15 minutes meditating on the things you are grateful for in yourself and in your life.
2. Give Yourself A Massage
Sure, it’s easy to book a massage with a therapist, but when was the last time you gave yourself a massage? This isn’t something to do half-heartedly. Take the time to really feel your glorious body and use slow strokes on your skin. Slather on your favorite massage oil or body butter. (My favorite is Trader Joe’s Coconut Body Butter.) Give special attention to the parts of your body you have criticized. Thank your body and send it love as you give yourself this massage.
3. Clear Out The Clutter
Just like meditation unclutters the mind, getting rid of the physical items you no longer need can also help with clearing the thoughts toward yourself. Did you know that the items you own also carry an energy vibration? We often don’t realize that we are surrounded by items that carry negative vibrations from difficult times in our lives. Sometimes it’s most self-loving to get rid of items. If there are items like pieces of jewelry that you don’t want to part with, use salt or essential oils to clear negative energy from your items.
4. Buy A Self-Love Ring Or Bracelet
Buy yourself a piece of self-love jewelry to remind yourself to have loving thoughts toward yourself. If you catch yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, move the piece of jewelry to your other wrist or finger. This will get so annoying after a while, that you will catch yourself immediately when you start to have those defeating thoughts. When you catch yourself having these thoughts, immediately follow up with a positive affirmation about yourself such as, “I deserve all that is good. I am worthy”
5. Nourish Your Body With A Healthy Treat
Appreciating our bodies with the food we eat is a wonderful way to show ourselves self-love. I like to make nutritious afternoon smoothies to give myself energy for the rest of the day. One of my favorites is Julie Morris’ Mint Chip Green Superfood Smoothie. As part of my afternoon smoothie ritual, I use the time to visualize and manifest the things I want to see occur in my life.
6. Move Your Body
Moving your body is one of the greatest ways to show appreciation for it. My favorite ways are through dance or hiking. But there are so many ways you can make movement a part of your daily life from walks in the park, yoga, tai chi, pilates, and swimming. If you are having trouble fitting exercise into your schedule, insist that your friends meet your for a hike rather than the usual cocktails or coffee.
7. Try Something New (Especially If You Don’t Think You Will Be Any Good At It)
A lot of times we avoid new activities because we don’t think we will be good at them. So what?! Pick your activities because they bring you joy. I once talked a bunch of friends into trying curling even though none of us had ever heard of it before. I was the absolute worst at it and pretty much lost the game for our team, but I never laughed so hard in my life. That alone was worth it.
You may be the worst dancer in the class or always be a beginner when it comes to yoga, but learning to accept yourself even though you aren’t good at something is a great way to practice self-love. Realize that you don’t have to do things perfectly to enjoy them and learn to laugh at yourself in the process!
8. Marry Yourself
Yes, that’s right. Marry yourself. You are
stuck with lucky to be with yourself for the rest of your life, so you may as well make a celebration out of it. I first read about this concept in Rob Brezsny’s blissful book, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia, and it changed my entire relationship with myself.
I later stumbled upon a camp at Burning Man right at the minute where a group ceremony to marry yourself was beginning complete with wedding music, rings, and wedding veils. I joined in, and we used Rob’s vows for the ceremony. It was a reminder to continue to say these vows to myself on a regular basis. This is the most important ritual I have ever done to remind myself to practice self-love.
In the words of Rob Brezsny:
I pledge to wake myself up, never hold back, have nothing to lose, go all the way, kiss the stormy sky, be the hero of my own story, ask for everything I need and give everything I have, take myself to the river when it’s time to go to the river, and take myself to the mountaintop when it’s time to go to the mountaintop.
You may kiss yourself on your own lips.
I give Skype Coaching sessions to help people who are struggling with self-love. Loving one’s self first causes everything else to flow in life. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details.