“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene
“You’re doing it wrong!”. Four of the most deflating words in the English language. Has anyone who has said these words to you ever made you want to do things “right?”
And yet a quick look at the internet will tell us we are doing everything wrong from the way we wear our sunscreen to even the way we poop.
I used to be a self-improvement addict. I would work on one issue that I thought was wrong with me, and then move on to the next one. I was every motivational author’s, seminar speaker’s, healer’s dream.
All of this because I thought I was doing it wrong.
One day I got tired of it. I got tired of judging myself. Of never feeling enough. Of the never-ending list of ways I could get it right.
And, I just decided to be me. I decided to get over doing it right, and just see what happened. That’s when I let love in. Love for myself exactly as I was. That’s when I started feeling an overwhelming joy for life and all that it is like I had never felt before. That’s when the heart-to-heart connection with others that I thought I had to be perfect for started showing up in my life. Turns out, I didn’t need to be perfect. I just needed to be accepting.
Don’t Let Anyone Tell You You’re Doing It Wrong
You see, no one gets to be you. No one can be you. So, their opinions on how you should do things don’t apply to you. Even your own opinions don’t matter. The mind likes to make us feel like we must be screwing up. It is constantly chasing after more, and never content with what it has in the moment. The mind resists what is and has a very hard time just being present.
You are you for a reason, and you make the decisions that your soul is guiding you to take. You have come here to experience certain things. But the mind likes to judge: bad, wrong, not good enough. Be what you are. And stop judging yourself for it.
Let others be what they are. Love them for it.
I don’t go to workshops anymore. I don’t read those books that make me feel like less of a person because I’m not doing it right. I’ve decided just to experience the moment and see where it takes me. I’m having a lot more fun. A lot more love for everything is flowing through my life. Because I see that everything is exactly what it is. It just is.
Yes, I still like to drink my green juice, or meditate when I feel like my mind needs centering. I still look deeply at the wounds inside myself and work on healing them just like I do a paper cut. But, I don’t do any of these things because I feel like I’m somehow not enough. I do them for the same reason I sometimes like to drink pink champagne for breakfast. Because they bring my life more joy.
Instead of judging myself for having the “wrong” thoughts like I did after reading, The Secret, I don’t have to think about them. I’m having better thoughts automatically because I’m not trying to control how things should be. I’m just letting my thoughts appear as they are. I’m letting myself appear as I am. (All that money I was trying to manifest? I found out I had it all along, once I stopped spending it on all the self-help seminar/webinar/workshops!)
No more seminars. No more workshops. Just love for what is. Gratitude that everything is exactly as it should be. Even when it makes me itch.
That’s what I want to give myself. And that’s what I want to give the world. I am enough. This moment is everything. And so are you.
Wanna Skype? Contact me at email@example.com, and let’s chat.
I have started to back off on the books now as well. I realized I would spend my whole life doing but not actually being!