People who get angry easily are usually people with many wounds. Their anger is a protection against further injury. The problem is that it also protects them from the experience of the healing pain.
Yes, pain can be healing and is not to be feared or avoided. Its presence can allow one to grow in ways that are not possible when life is easy. One of the most common sources of emotional pain is coming face to face with the lack of perfection that we seek outside of ourselves. We want our parents, our lovers, and our friends to be perfect. We even want the things that we own to be perfect.
Many of us believe that if we were just surrounded by enough perfection that our lives would be perfect. But, perfection is not the absence of imperfections. True perfection can be encountered only after we realize that everything is already exactly the way that it should be and that the entire Universe has aligned this very moment to bring you wholeness and growth.
The beauty of the Spirit is that perfection is given in the midst of brokenness. Brokenness is perfect. The path to wholeness can only come by experiencing your own brokenness. Perfection is not about being without blemish. It is about being, being to the fullest, being all that you are, including your brokenness.
The person who thinks he has to be without blemish in order to be acceptable has missed the whole point. To be perfect is to be your imperfect self to the fullest.-Screaming Hawk Returns, Patton Boyle
You Are Perfect
I am reading Screaming Hawk Returns by Patton Boyle, and these words resonated deeply with me. They are an affirmation of everything I’ve seen about life lately.
I recently saw that I had been hiding from my own parts that I perceived were broken. I had been afraid to reveal these parts to the world, and I was also afraid to look at them myself. I saw that I could choose to be continually stuck in a loop of what I could improve about myself, where I could grow, and how I could change, but I would never get there. I saw that the key was to accept myself exactly as I am. To love it all. And, to realize that it’s all perfect because it’s all me. Once I let in the love for all of me, I felt complete freedom. Because my heart opened, and I finally felt loved for exactly who I was. I got out of my judging mind and into the wondrous miracle of me.
When I had this realization, I saw myself as a small child inside my own body. I was screaming in joy, “I get to be me.” I was running around the entire inside of my body. I realized that before I had kept myself to a small part the part that was trying to be perfect. The amazing thing is when you accept the “imperfect”, it is healed and transformed into love. You have made it your ally and you grow as a person without judging yourself. That’s the secret!! Everything can be transformed into love. But, it can’t be transformed when you are in your mind!!
If you think about it, nothing new can emerge without something becoming broken. The chick must break the egg to hatch. The butterfly must break the cocoon. The plant breaks the ground as it emerges through the surface of the earth. Even the sunlight breaks the darkness to bring us the dawn of a new day.
Your brokenness was needed. It was the incubator that made you who you are. We all have different gifts that we bring to the world, and this is what got you there. In fact, we often judge our greatest gift that we have to offer. I have often judged myself for talking “too much.” I finally realized, that my greatest gift is the words that I have to share with others. This is part of who I am meant to be. And, people can’t hear my words if I am quiet.
We often look at the things wrong in this world, and think, “What a terrible world.” But, the true miracle is that among so much of the things that seem to be wrong, that there is so much beauty, so much love, and so much light. That is what we need to put our focus on. It is only then that the beautiful things can expand.
Have you noticed that when someone is judging you, and pointing out what is wrong with you (in their eyes) that it shuts you down? It doesn’t make you want to change, does it? But, how about when you are surrounded by people who are empowering you, who are appreciating you, and pointing all that is right about you? You start being the best version of you around that person, don’t you? It is the same with yourself. Honor everything about yourself. Realize that all of who you are makes you the wondrous person you are. It won’t be long before the love that you are showering down upon you transforms all the broken parts into your allies. Your allies of compassion, kindness, love, and wholeness. You are perfect.
Break, break, break. And, then watch with breathtaking awe as you emerge.